fucking hell. it’s simply so confusing. one day you decide that teach for india might be a good out-of-college option, and the next day you’re reading opinions and blogs talking about how it’s part of the neo-liberal structure that pervades the economy and society today. a corporate job was already ‘out of the question’, as it were, but no, wait, there’s a recruitment call from the only firm you’ve ever interned in in the only mainstream field of law you ever found interesting, surely you have to take it? surely? I mean of course you have at the very least that minimum level of humanity to look at your family’s situation and take a decision factoring that in as well, yes? Of course I don’t mean to insinuate that you don’t, of course not, wouldn’t dream of it. Heh heh heh. This is what life is about. Headaches and indecision. Crippling desires and iron-fisted morality. Hahahahah. You try and try and try harder and at the end of the shenanigans a clown comes out of nowhere and breaks an egg on your head. On the front half of your head, so that the insides dribble all over your face. Because that’s when you really start to enjoy the ride. That’s when you suddenly start earning enough money to start taking decisions yourself and guess what? You’re even worse at life than you thought! You laughed at your parents and all those other adults but never really learned from their mistakes, only to imitate them. So what do ou do once you’ve lunched alone and banged that shady hooker? Pick up that new project at work? That should add some meaning to your life, shouldn’t it? Maybe it’ll end up in that big jump in job prospects you’ve been looking forward to so much for the past month. Or maybe you’re going to be unsatisfied with the way people working with you are choosing to carry out the project like you were last time and make such a big conflict within the project that the whole damn thing is going to come crashing down the way it did last time.

But maybe I’m being too harsh on you. You deserve a chance. A chance to show that you can turn things around this time. <snort> Pardon me. Alright, I admit, I don’t think you’re going to turn things around. But I still wouldn’t mind giving you a shot anyway. I mean, any small change you make from where you were last time, that’s – that’s a step in a positive direction, right? So go ahead. Show is what you’re made of.

Just don’t fuck this one up. Ha.